Limits

I doubt I'll have time to apply to grad school for next year. Due dates for Emerson are January 5th. For some reason I thought I'd have part of the spring to take the GRE's, apply, get my references, etc. I hoenstly don't really want to do the program. I want to take classes, and I like the idea of being a student again, but I'm really just going back to get a better job. Really, I just want to start working on books. The sad thing is, at this point in my life I really ant to be an unpaid intern, but I don't have the choice. now I have to work for a living.
When I was in college, when you're 'supposed' to be an unpaid intern, I was so tired and mainly burnt out on the work I was doing, that I couldn't bear the diea of volunteering to learn mundane skills in a field I wa sonly midlly interested in. I was totally cynical, scalded on the idea of sitting around talking about books, writing about high thought and life and the world. All I wanted was to live a 'normal life', as according to
the stereotypes and concepts of the working-class people I knew, the kind of people who were made cynical by lack of opportunity, as opposed to the people I knew, and to myself, who were made cynical by a surplus of opportunity, by being told by our parents ot just find ourselves and do what we thought was important. In the past, the people we idolized (maybe idealized! I typed that by accident. Freudian slip!) formed their concept of what was important by the limitations placed upon them.