Insistent

We went to Ikea this afternoon and I found myself in the unpleasant situation of being along for the ride in my own life, not caring about what happens, and unable to make any change in it. Beanz made a plan for what she wanted, she orchestrated the trip, she drove, we walked around and she asked me what I thought every ten feet, and nine times out of ten I had no opinion whatsoever, and when I did, she insisted on the opposite. I feel like this happens all the time: I let myself get dragged along, and choose not to care one way or another because I won't be comfortable defending what I want. So I wind up not caring about anything, choosing not to care about anything. I feel like I'm too non-confrontational, but I've always believed men should be extra careful about being too pushy, too controlling. My mother always told me not to tell women what they should want. But no one ever told me that sometimes, women want to have someone make the decisions for them. It's emasculating enough being dragged along to Ikea, pretending to have any opinions whatsoever about what kind of bookshelves we choose. I'd be happy with milk crates and cinder blocks, honestly, as long as they were dust free and covered with books and music equipment.